Imposter Syndrome: What Do You Do When It Sets In?

Impostor Syndrome: an inability to internalize accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud". Some of the most successful people have felt Impostor Syndrome at one point or another. As this school year has gone on, I have felt more often times of self doubt. Knowing that I have such big responsibilities of being a mother and an educator, I've begun feeling lots of pressure. It's something I've continued to worked and struggle through.

Being surrounded by other teachers can be a blessing. It's nice and necessary to have that support from the teacher community online or on your campus. I have been lucky to have that support my entire educational career. I started my bilingual educator journey during my second year of teaching. With no formal bilingual educator training, everything I learned about bilingual education is from my comadres. These bilingual teachers took me in with open arms and accepted me como una de ellas. I would not be the teacher I am today with out them. Even though I no longer am in the district, I am in touch with them often. They are like my other mamas. They have always celebrated my ideas and opinion as I was the youngest on the team. They have continued to cheer me on as I continue on my journey. Las quiero de todo corazon.

I am lucky to now have a team of bilingual teachers on my current campus who have been with me for about 6 years. We are a small, but mighty team. We have a wide range as far as years of experience, but I think it's a strength for us. I have found strength in these ladies and they also cheer me on when it feels like I'm going against the grain. I know they have my back and I will always have their's. A ellas tambien las quiero de todo corazon.

The online teacher community has also been very valuable to me. There are too many educators for me to even name, but I value them because they have opened my eyes to so many things, have taught me that to be anti racist I have to start with myself, and have given me the words to express trauma, feelings, and experiences I didn't know I needed to acknowledge. I have also been able to meet some of these educators in real life. It's amazing what the power of technology is capable of achieving. To all of you, I appreciate you more than you know.

So what does all of this have to do with Impostor Syndrome? There are times that I move in my professional and even personal life, and feel "What makes me think I deserve to be here? Do I even belong here? I haven't done XYZ like so-and-so has." There are times that I look at all of these wonderful educators and think, I am nothing like them. And I'm right. I'm not. What I've had to learn is that I am valuable because of that. None of us have the exact same experiences, education, influences, family and so on. That makes us all unique. And just because someone else is doing or working on something awesome, it doesn't mean that what I do isn't. This is something that I have to remind myself about constantly. It makes me human. I don't have it all together all the time. I make mistakes. A lesson I think was going to be great might fall flat. My kids will love something that I just thought up of in the moment. Sometimes I run out of patience with my own daughters. Just how I want to teach my students and daughters that when they don't quite hit the mark, they try again so should I. I am the only one that can curb these thoughts in my head and keep Impostor Syndrome in check.

My hope is that by posting this, you know that you're not alone in these feelings. It doesn't just happen to educators. It can happen to anyone: a first generation college student, a new mother, a lone BIPoC in a workplace. Know that you are valuable and that you deserve to be there even when circumstances and sometimes even people try to tell you that you don't. When you start hearing those thoughts in your head, remind yourself about that and if that doesn't work make sure to reach out to your support system. Surround yourself with their encouragement and continue to move in this world using your voice.